The Sex Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be good also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the chance to have sex with someone we are attracted to extremely tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in effective feelings of destination, excitement, wellness, love, and closeness .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They probably would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that much of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in urbane areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a provided that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the this link collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, goals, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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